The first Christmas I can remember I was three or four, and it was called Christmas in our God-fearing Christian home. That was before my brother told us there was no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy.
My oldest sister gave me a silver bracelet. We were poor and didn’t have a lot of luxuries. I thought she was glamorous and I had ne…
It was my first sober Saturday in recovery. It was a big deal. But I was completely preoccupied. It was past midnight and my twelve-year old son Cole wasn’t home. He had never been this late before. Ghosts may very well have been stirring that day. Little did I know history was preparing to repeat itself.
I had just come off a twenty-year bender. I’d barely h…
The Fall Equinox
The fall equinox marks the end of summer and the beginning of fall. In the northern hemisphere, that means shorter days and longer nights. Darkness can be a difficult time for many people. Begin the season with healthy habits. This can help combat depression, anxiety, and seasonal affective disorder. Here’s my short list. I’d l…
I remember when my son was born. I did what all mothers do. I counted ten fingers and ten toes and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It had not been an easy pregnancy, including a lot of alcohol use.
Cole thrived. He met all his developmental milestones; and was a bright, loveable, energetic, little ball of fire.
Problems began when he started school. Mostly, …
This blog begins with events which propelled me into recovey. At the time I thought my life was over. Little did it know it was just beginning…..
What it Was Like
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Till the landslide brought me down
Fleetwood Mac, Lyrics to La…
I once picked a pill up off the sidewalk and popped it in my mouth.
Just walking along. Not a second thought. Like Jack-in-the-Box. Pop. Could have been a dog-deworming pill. My point is: I’d try anything if I thought it might alter how I felt on the inside.
I remember being disappointed when nothing happened.
I lived like that for twenty years. Dr…
I met Star fourteen years ago.
She barged through the front doors of the agency where I worked. We provided services to women involved in sex work.
I could hear her voice through the thin walls. She was blurting something out to the receptionist about her dad and broken promises. She was jittery and nervous and had that deer caught in the headlights look. F…
Can you remember your first drink?
I remember mine.
I was 13 years old.
That first pull of Black Velvet burned. But when the second and third hit my stomach, euphoria washed over me, wrapping me from head to toe like a mink blanket. More than 40 years later and my pulse still quivers at the thought. It was love at first sip. A femme fatal. Slipped into like a pai…