This time will be different

Uncategorized Jul 18, 2022

I was the type of drinker who NEVER left a drop in the bottle at the end of the night. This was after giving myself a stern talking to about controlling my liquor, telling myself I was going to only have one or two (ok, maybe three) and then stop. 

The problem for people like me, there is no such thing as ever drinking like a normal person, and no amount of willpower in the world can hold that train back.

Can you relate?

If so, this article will be of interest to you.

With 31 years of hindsight in recovery to give me plenty of time to think about some of the complexities, none of the reasons I couldn’t stop had anything to do with what was really going on.

In this article, I discuss the lies of addiction and some truths.

I was caught in a destructive thought loop that played over and over and over for over twenty years.

This type of thinking can derail your attempts to quit drinking.

It is important to have the facts… about the lies that addiction tells us and what the truth is.

The Lies I Believed

For years, I had been saying, “This is it. I’m not drinking anymore.”

But then the voices would start. “Have one. Just one.”

Next thing, I’d have a drink in my hand.

Beneath the chaos was a deep yearning for something more profound, more purposeful. Meaningful.

I might have gotten help sooner had I known my biggest fears were lies. 

Which of the following can you relate to?

  • “It’s not that bad.”
  • “I’ll stop tomorrow.”
  • “No harm in having one.”
  • “You’d drink too if (fill in the blank).”
  • “This time will be different.”

Here is the truth

Everything is the opposite of what I thought it would be like. Most of what I was looking for in a bottle, I have found in sobriety.


Once you put down the drug, you loosen the chains that tie you down. Suddenly you are free to make plans. You have the freedom to explore who you are without the booze and what you enjoy doing. Inner peace and freedom mean walking with your head high, and feeling pride instead of shame.

Inner strength and confidence

Alcohol was my liquid courage. Since quitting drinking, I have gone through things I never thought possible. But you don’t have any choice. Life goes on, and life is hard, and you can get through things, and you will, and you are! Right now, I’m sure you have difficulties in your life that you are getting through, and it is going through particularly challenging times where you gain confidence. I don’t know about you, but I drank to avoid dealing with problems. That is not living. That is barely surviving.

Emotional stability

I used alcohol to numb out anything painful and had no tools to deal with any of my emotions or challenges in life. A stranger could look at me the wrong way, and I could spiral into a state of depression. In recovery, you get an opportunity to heal, mature, gain emotional intelligence, and expand your emotional horizons beyond anything I found in a bottle. Plus, the good feelings in sobriety last, instead of constantly chasing the next high.

Feeling whole inside

From as early as I can remember, it felt like I had a hole where my heart and soul were supposed to be, big enough to drive a freight train through. And it hurt so much. That is why alcohol worked so well. I know I am not alone. I hear many women describe that same feeling. There wasn’t enough of anything on the planet to fill me up, though I sure tried. Sobriety, and living a life of purpose, fills you. This inner expansion grows because we are constantly changing and evolving in sobriety, rather than devolving. For example, you are not the same person today as you were ten years ago.

Do you need help breaking free from the chains of addiction? I promise you that the healing experienced in recovery is nothing short of miraculous, where you are free to create and live a life you love.

Are you looking for help to deal with an addiction to alcohol or other drugs? If you struggle, I hope you get help before 20 years pass you by as it did me. My GendHer® program will help you find the freedom you desire and deserve. Click here for more information on my next course.

Click here for my FREE GUIDE How to Quit Drinking. And Stay Quit.



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